Merry Christmas from Lanaia

wrote this not to be scary, but I thought I would give everyone a chuckle for Christmas

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS DARK OR AN ACCOUNT OF A VISIT FROM THE ELF OF DARKNESS

Twas the night before Christmas dark, when all throughout the house
Not a demon was stirring, not even a louse
The stockings with holes were hung by the chimney with fear
In hopes that the darkness would steer clear.

The rug rats were nestled in their beds but not yet dead
While visions of naughty things danced in their heads
And mummy in her wrap, and I in my hat with a strap
Had just settled for a long winter filled nightmarish nap.

When on the lawn arouse such a ghostly chatter
I sprang from my bed, just in time to watch the ghosts scatter
Away to the window I flew like a lightning flash
Tore open the shutter and threw out the trash.

The moon on the breast of a foul mouthed ghoul
Gave the luster of midday, making things look as if they glow
When, what to my blood shot eyes should bring fear
But a miniature black chariot and eight tiny things from the darkness from which you should steer clear.

With a little old driver looking deadly and sick
I knew in a moment it must be the elf from the darkness that is so black and thick
More rapid than vultures, his courses they came
And he moaned and groaned as he called the all by name.

Now Jeffrey! Now Albert! Now Strangler and Ripper!
On Charles! On Ted! On Son of Sam and o coarse the Night Stalker who holds such allure
To the top of the tomb stones, to the top of darkness and it's hall
Now go away, go away, go away all.

As dry leaves before the wilderness of evil flies
When they met with an obstacle, they may die
So up to the haunted house top the dark things flew
With a wagon full of woes and Sandy Claws too.

And then in a tumble I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of the thing;s black black hoofs
As I drew in my hand, and at first I heard not a sound
Down the chimney Sandy Claws came with a very noisy bound.

He was dressed in all black fur from his ugly head to foot
And his clothes were all raggedy and dirty, this poor fellow really needed a new suit
A bundle of switches he had flung on his back
And he looked of the darkness, I'm amazed I didn't have a heart attack.

His eyes how blood shot they were, he was so round and hairy
His cheeks, they really did sag, he really looks like a dark evil fairy
His droll little mouth, a smile it did lack
And the beard on his chin was the color of charcoal black.

The stump of a stick held in his teeth
I stood there saying to myself please be brief
He had like a disfigured face and he could actually drag his belly
That shook when he laughed and looked like he had visited quite a few delis.

He was fat and saggy looking like a troll or an elf
And I almost screamed when I saw him, I had to get a hold of myself
A wink of his blood shot eyes, and a twist, all the way around went his head
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

He spoke not a word as around the Christmas tree he lurk
Sitting his switches all around, then with a yelp and a jerk
And laying his long nailed finger aside his disfigured nose
And giving a horrid look, he seems to have vanished. Where did he go?

He ran to his black chariot, and growled to his team to go
And away they flew very very slow
But I heard him growl as he disappeared from my eye
Happy Christmas to all and on this nigh you won't die.